To Coug it.

I had the pleasure of going to Eugene with three great friends this last Saturday to watch my Washington State Cougars battle the Oregon Ducks.

Being a Coug aint easy. At one point in recent years we were the #3 team in the nation and were well on our way to a major BCS College Football Bowl. We were psyched and we were finally ready for something good to come our way.

Well, the one-way street to fun-town turned into a U-turn back to nowhere. We lost our last game to an unranked and un-respected Washington Husky team in our annual Apple Cup. We Coug’d it. We Coug’d it bad. We then put our claws away, tucked our tails and slinkered down to the Rose Bowl and lost to the Oklahoma Sooners—which ironically, the game couldn’t end any “sooner.”

To “Coug it” is a term known to all northwestern college sports fans. The term could be defined as: anything good that comes to a hault in a quick, sudden and laughable manner.

Bode Miller “Coug’d it” in the last winter Olympics.

Al Gore “Coug’d it” in the 2000 election.

Pee-Wee Herman “Coug’d it” when enjoying his movies.

AND the BIGGEST most literal “Coug it” award goes to Ryan Leaf (a Coug). Leaf was drafted number two behind Peyton Manning and is arguably known as the biggest flop in all of sports history. So—that is the history that embraces every Washington State Cougar fan across the nation.

Going down to Eugene was awesome. We had tunes, fun and food on the drive down, and friendly sports banter in the car and everywhere else we stopped, as just about every car on I-5 was headed to Eugene’s Autzen Stadium for the game. The two Duck fans in the care were strangely silent as we headed further south—most likely because they knew the traps had been placed out on the field and the sharp shooters were ready to tranquilize our team of kittens in a few hours.

This is because the Cougs… kinda suck. I mean that in a loving way, like how parents have children that play soccer, but spend half their time picking flowers and swinging from the goal posts. Parents can love their kids… and still know the team they play for is terrible.

We have a true freshman starting at quarterback. In fact, we had more than 5 true freshmen starting on the field due to so many injuries. We were predicted to win zero games this year and we’re following that line pretty closely. We had low expectations going into the season, but we did still hope to make a game or two out of the season.
The state of the team is sad and has been weighing on me a bit. I look at Oregon… a team whose facilities are so nice that any player that leaves for the NFL is making a step down compared to the state-of-the-art facilities in Eugene. Thanks to NIKE, they enjoy one of the nicest Stadiums in all of football (NFL included). They have like 20 different jersey combinations and even “announce” what they will be wearing on game day. They have endless money and a great team to show for it.

In contrast, the Cougs have no money and a laughable stadium that seats a lowly 30,000 people. There are high school stadiums in Texas that seat nearly that many. Deep down, this bothers me and every other Coug. There is a certain animosity that builds and brews within us and we need to lash out on occasion. We love our Cougs. We love anyone and everyone that went to WSU and is still proud to show their colors. We love them so much that we are hurt when other people bash on our team. It really hurts us when the superior team has duck whistles blaring at us.

As the game neared, while we sat in the bar, this animosity hit me like the Ducks were about to hit the Cougs. I looked around the room and saw Ducks, all of whom claim to hate the Washington Huskies, rooting for them against Notre Dame. (This is because of a BSC ranking… the Ducks play the Huskies later in the season—so the better the Huskies, the better the Ducks fair if they beat them). This sent me into a Duck-envy disgust.

“What the hell!” I kept saying to my Duck and Coug friends.

“These guys have no sense of loyalty… they are just football sluts, willing to root for anyone if it might help them!”

I then turned to my Cougar friend “When was the last time you saw a Coug root for a Husky?” He said, “Never.” And I was relieved. The Ducks might be a better team, but we’ve got them trumped in the loyalty department.

Looking back, I wish I wasn’t so annoyed. I was just blinded with Duck-envy. Like when people go into a rage and they seed red, well the room was covered in bright, “highlighter-yellow” and it was driving me insane.

We headed to the stadium. Us Cougs know we are going to lose, but hoped to at least make it a game. Outside of Autzen there are marble “X’s” and “O’s” signifying a play chart for a football play. I was pumped and ran through it, spinning and dodging these marble letters as if I were making a game saving touchdown. “Ouch!” I spun a little too tight and messed up my elbow. I should have known right then and there the hurt was about to be so much worse.

We walked in and found our seats among the sea of yellow. After walking by what seemed like 20 inflatable Daffy Ducks (yes, along with Nike, Oregon has a deal with Disney’s Donald), and hearing Duck calls from 80,000 fans, I was ready to see the Cougs silence this gaudy team.
Within the first couple minutes… “TOUCHDOWN OREGON!” Followed by another and another and another and another “TOUCHDOWN OREGON!” My Duck friend consoled us two Cougs as we rested our heads in our hands. Our “star” freshmen quarterback was hurt after his 3rd pass. Our team was playing like a high school football team with moments of pee-wee league action.

The fans surrounding us were kind. They checked in on us to make sure we weren’t going to injure ourselves.

We were close to doing that though... really close.

So we leave at halftime, drink some beers, hang out and find some folks to talk to. We find some fellow Cougs walking around in misery. When we identify each other we light up and take delight in our shared misery. In fact, misery does love company. We talk, laugh and take some comfort in knowing that indeed it will be a long trip back. The mood is lightened with introduction of a beer garden--Huskies, Ducks; Cougs… just about everyone is having a good time.
We go back to our seats and “enjoy” the rest of the game. It was a blow-out. It was a terrible game for everyone there (from a sporting event standpoint) and those watching it on TV. It was miserable.

But we had a great time. We were in good company, went to some bars and enjoyed the rest of the night. I still resent the Ducks in an irrational way, but was happy how they treated us for the most part and had a good time in Eugene.

I really don’t have a point to this, except to say—I’m sorry.

I’m sorry to the Ducks fans that annoyed me while cheering for the Huskies.

I’m sorry to the pavement I stomped on while leaving the game.

I’m sorry to muscles on my face I exhausted while frowning and leaving my jaw wide-open.

I had a great time with great people and even though the Cougs “Coug’d” on a massive scale, I love that team and I’m glad I got to see them play.

I’m a Coug. I know we will be great for a couple years and sub-par for most. I can’t WAIT for the next time we Coug it, because that will mean that even though we blew something great… at least we had something to blow.

I miss those days.